Killer Thong
October 13th, 2026
MOVIE: KILLER THONG
STARRING: SHAWN DOUCETTE, LALESHA RAILSBACK, REBECCA AMBROSINO
DIRECTED BY: RENO ANASTASIO
AMovieGuy.com’s RATING: 0 STARS (Out of 4)
DIRECTED: PG-13
RUN TIME: 95 MINUTES
The horror genre has given us all sorts of ridiculous concepts turned into movies. Just look at Thankskilling, Attack of the Killer Donuts, Evil Bong, Slugs, and even Killer Fish. It’s all been done. So here I am, reviewing a movie called Killer Thong, and yep, it’s quite an awful film. I’ll go into detail for the sake of giving every movie a fair shake, but if I start to trail off, you’ll know why. One doesn’t even have to watch a movie called Killer Thong to know it’s probably going to be bad.
The premise is about as bad as it gets. The film opens with two male strippers dancing for a group of women at a bachelorette party. During the hypnotic performance, Alex (Rebecca Ambrosino) is disgusted by their crude gyrations and falls under a spell. In her deep sleep, Alex dreams of one of the dancers’ thongs coming to life and stalking her friends, Mandy (Lalesha Railsback) and Julie (Cynthia Taylor). And so, much like Jason Voorhees stalking his prey and breathing beneath his mask, we get a POV shot of a floating thong hunting down and killing people. All the while, Alex must confront her own secrets and attempt to save her friends.
Directed by Reno Anastasio, Killer Thong could have succeeded- or at least avoided a dreaded zero-star rating- if it hadn’t taken itself so seriously. I was at least hoping the film would be funny or so ridiculously bad that it would make me laugh. To my surprise, there’s very little comedy to be found. Anastasio, who co-wrote the film with Shawn Doucette, apparently believes that 50 of its 93 minutes should be devoted to images of a thong following a car, lurking around a corner, and attacking people without delivering any exciting kills. If you’re going to make a slasher flick, you probably should have some slashing.
The truly surprising part is Anastasio’s attempt to turn Alex’s journey into a trippy arthouse experience. She wears a leopard-print bodysuit, wanders around her bathroom, and often seems like an actor waiting for someone offscreen to feed her a line. What any of this has to do with a killer thong, I couldn’t tell you. The reality is that Killer Thong is the kind of movie that made me proud of myself for not turning it off 20 minutes in. Other critics might tell me I’m wasting my time watching it, let alone writing about it. Sometimes we get assignments we don’t enjoy tackling. Sometimes we get to watch a great independent film like Terrestrial, and sometimes we have to watch a movie about a killer thong. I just wasn’t lucky this time.
I wish the filmmakers the best of luck. I hope they enjoyed themselves and got a lot out of the experience of making a movie. Maybe next time, they can make a film with a little more fabric to cover up all the problems. Killer Thong is a very bad movie.
0 STARS
KILLER THONG IS CURRENTLY AVAILABLE TO WATCH ON TUBI
Written by: Leo Brady
